Farewell My Beloved

My beloved grandma passed away last Saturday evening. She died in my very arms. I was alone with her together with my son. We saw her slipping away right in front of our very eyes and was helpless to do much to help her. The question on whether I could have done anything more or differently that could have saved her kept haunting me. I kept seeing her whenever my mind is free.

Others kept telling me and my family that is was a good way to go as she does not need to go thru long period of pain or sufferings. For she had left us while having her dinner (she ate halfway) together with my son by her side. Perhaps it was.... but we are still trying to wrap our mind around the notion that we did not get to say farewell to her or to hear her last words.

Deep down inside, I know I should count my blessing for I am the last person to have held her, sooth her and spoken to her during her last moment. Nevertheless, the experience was one that's going to follow me till the end of my days. It was traumatic for me and my son yet, it was one that one memory only I alone could have to cherish.

We missed her dearly as she was the magnet of our family. She pulls us all together as an inseparable family unit. Without her we are lost.

Though I wished to say more, my heart does not have the strength yet for me to carry on.

I would like to observe a moment of silence in the loving memory of this beautiful woman, my dearest grandma.

This is the memorial message we are engraving onto her resting sanctuary,
for it was one that truly reflect our love for her:

Gone yet not forgotten,
although we are apart,
your spirit lives within us,
forever in our hearts.