Farewell My Beloved

My beloved grandma passed away last Saturday evening. She died in my very arms. I was alone with her together with my son. We saw her slipping away right in front of our very eyes and was helpless to do much to help her. The question on whether I could have done anything more or differently that could have saved her kept haunting me. I kept seeing her whenever my mind is free.

Others kept telling me and my family that is was a good way to go as she does not need to go thru long period of pain or sufferings. For she had left us while having her dinner (she ate halfway) together with my son by her side. Perhaps it was.... but we are still trying to wrap our mind around the notion that we did not get to say farewell to her or to hear her last words.

Deep down inside, I know I should count my blessing for I am the last person to have held her, sooth her and spoken to her during her last moment. Nevertheless, the experience was one that's going to follow me till the end of my days. It was traumatic for me and my son yet, it was one that one memory only I alone could have to cherish.

We missed her dearly as she was the magnet of our family. She pulls us all together as an inseparable family unit. Without her we are lost.

Though I wished to say more, my heart does not have the strength yet for me to carry on.

I would like to observe a moment of silence in the loving memory of this beautiful woman, my dearest grandma.

This is the memorial message we are engraving onto her resting sanctuary,
for it was one that truly reflect our love for her:

Gone yet not forgotten,
although we are apart,
your spirit lives within us,
forever in our hearts.

Licence to Play

Currently in a pretty good mood eversince the the last 2 days back. So light and breezy, almost felt like a child again.

So without further ado, here's the story behind my bliss:


A GIFT OF JOY AND GUILT

I was pleasantly surprised by my hubby on last Monday evening when he came to pick me up from work. As I adjusted myself for a more comfortable ride back home, he quietly slipped onto my lap a small white plastic bag.

What I found in that small plastic bag blew me away. I felt a mixture of joy and awe but it was also tainted with a bit of guilt. For he had given me something which I had always wanted and what he thought I have yet to have. When in fact I already own a couple lower capacities ones well hidden away. What's more ironic is that, a few days ago I had just secretly bought another one exactly the duplicate of what he had gotten me now.

If you are now wondering what kind of gift my sweet ol' hubby had given me. I'll like to say that it's an apparatus that'll give me ample joy of making luve with my obsession. To have long and lengthy intercourse. To upload and download stuff. Lotsa stuff.

Here it is...

Kingston Data Traveler 100 [ 4GB ] USB 2.0

Yup, it's a flashdrive. What else did you think it was in the first place? Lol. And, computer is my obsession.

Now that I have two of these handy drives. Meaning 4GB x 2 = 8GB, I am so going to get myself busy. Busy uploading stuff. Packing it full with my goodies. Not bad, not bad at all *evil grin*.

I have just finished uploading this new one with loads of USB portable applications yesterday. Hmmm... I guess the rest of the space calls for more mangas, ebooks and audiobooks. Way to go baby.

Yes, I am touched and very much happy with my dearest hubby's gift. Like what I had always been telling my friends... I'd rather he buys me gadgets than flowers. I certainly don't mind a bouquet of thumbdrives! *chuckle*. It's not that I don't fancy or like flowers at all. I do like em. Just not as much as I adore IT gadgets, that's all.

By the way, my favorite flower is the white lilies. Roses are so old fashion. Lilies are forever pure and fresh.



CHILDHOOD DREAM TOYS

Right after that surprise gift, he suggested we go grab dinner at a local shopping complex.

Just when we are leaving the shopping complex after dinner and a bit of window shopping, we both saw an electronic toy of which have been on my wishlist since childhood. It was yet to be fulfilled up till now.

My hubby looks at me and smile knowingly. As I gasp and delights over the said item on display. As the toy unwittingly woo me over and over again with it's cute antic on display.

Needless to say, he bought it for me. And I am on cloud 9 literally. It's so sweet of him. I felt like throwing myself into his arm there and then and to kiss him silly.

Here, let me introduce you to my current #2 obsession...

Penguins on Slide

I play with it everyday. Switch it on every morning when I woke up to prepare self for work and when I came back from work.

Right now I am keeping my fingers crossed that my son wouldn't destroy it when he comes back from visiting his grandma (it's school holiday now).


Ahemm......

I just had to show you another toy which was also on that long pending childhood toy wishlist of mine. This one was granted during this year's Chinese New Year (February). Yes, again, it's a gift from my hubby.

Here it is...

Wooden String Toy Horse

Wasn't it the cutest? It is now my constant companion at work.


I know you would all laugh at me for being such an overgrown kid. Well laugh all you want cuz I don't mind it. As long as I am happy. That is what counts. Cheers!



NOTE:

Just in case anyone of you are interested to know what software I use for editing the above pictures it's called PHOTOSCAPE. You could get it free here. Well it's a freeware afterall. A really good one at that. Totally recommend it to all.

PICASA from Google is just as great too. Both are worthy image/photo editors and both are free. What more could one asks for?

I really dig PHOTOSCAPE's large templates library for collage making. Another feature which I adore is the ability to append text and also bubble talk diagrams. Oh yea, it also offers the ability to frame up your photos digitally. There are so many to choose from I am literally spoil of choices.

Kleio's Personalised CNY Greetings

Just a quick post. I had to do this. Cos' it's Chinese New Year the biggest festival for us Chinese. It wouldn't stand well for me to going on long holiday without first wishing all my friends here a very Happy Chinese New Year.

As you are all so very special to me, I have decided to personalised my greetings to all of you by means of a short audio clip recording. Yes, you get to hear my voice, the ever elusive and mysterious hermit has decided to talk, literally.

Just did this recording over lunch today. Hiding quietly in my superior's room with the MP3 player/recorder which I bought with my hard earned money last year. I must say, I sounded very nervous in it. Cos' I am, I am so nervous that my tongue felt so thick and clumsy. Lol. Gosh.

So, here's my dedication to all my fellow beloved blog pals:

Hope all of you have a joyous and eventful Chinese New Year. I know I am going to spend my CNY holidays uneventfully and boringly at my in-laws. Again. Sigh....

NOTICE: Time-out from Blogsphere

I believe I owe all my dearest blogsphere friends an apology for neglecting my blog and for not updating regularly. Plus, I am also feeling pretty guilty for not paying frequent visits to your site/blog as I used to do.

Please don't write me off yet. Yours truly is just too wrapped up in work. It could be sometime until I could truly get back to blogging full force. Sigh....

Missing you all alot!

An Intimate Disclosure ( Not for the weak stomachs! )

First and foremost, please do brace yourself for what you are about to witness. Don't say I didn't warn you. It's gonna be something gross and... uhmm.... I am not too sure if it's appropriate to appear here at all. So, to those who had just taken their lunches or dinner or whatever you've stuffed yourself with, please view this at your own risk. Don't come back here and kick me in the arse if your yesterday's breakfast comes pouring out like Niagara Falls.

You are about to witness something very intimate of mine. A part of me since birth till yesterday, I had no choice but to let it go painfully. It was an emotional goodbye. Tears and agony, anxiety and angst.

For the past few years, thrice, I had safe it's life and tried to salvage whatever I could so we could be together longer than it was meant to be. Trying so hard to beat the odds. And yet, cruel history chose to repeat itself again and this time, tis most unforgiving. No doubt it's a punishment for pushing my luck the last couple of times back. Revenge and karma can be such a biatch!

Here's my tribute to the most intimate and important part of me. Sob! I am never whole again!

It's one of my precious molar that belongs to my lower left jaw.

Don't worry, I had clean it as best as I could to get rid of the blood, flesh and nerves that has been clinging stubbornly onto it.

I place it on my palm for size reference. Yup! it's big alright. Talk about size.
No wonder the pain that follows after the extraction. Still pretty much in pain as we speak. Well, the hole is big, the pain is great. Right?

Look at the filling. Almost the whole tooth is fully stuffed from my 3 attempts to salvage it. Just imagine the agony I had been thru, people. Tis not for the weak of heart. Really.

Sorry if you find this repulsive. But, I just had to pay my tribute to this valiant comrade of mine. Anyhow, I am glad to be done with it. Sad but glad too. At least, the nagging and nerve-wrecking pain wouldn't be haunting me again in the future. Hopefully, I could say this for the rest of my pearly whites.

One for the record, this round of tooth infection is the worst one I've ever encountered with. Well, it was (yes, the same tooth) infected the first time I beg the doctor to drill a friggin big hole to save it and that was yearssss back. Thing is, the pain wasn't too bad then as compared to what I had this round. And it was waaayyyy out of proportion kinda pain. It's so physically draining that I can't really function right, much less stay sane. Been popping painkillers and antibiotics like nobody's business as the doctor said the swelling and pain needs to be down before anything could be done. Sucks right?

So, that explains my long absence and silence on the blogsphere. Am I forgiven then? Please? Pretty please?


Hard lesson learned from all this agony:

Toothache is worst than the pain of giving birth.
Hands down on it. Period! Not debatable!

Do I made myself clear?

REVISION: Manga Kleio - Tis is how I look like

Gawd! I have just noticed last night an embarrassing and glaring mistake on that manga self I have drawn and then posted here on Saturday, 17th November 2007 while I was idly browsing thru some of my manga magazines.

It really shows how amateur I am at this. Cos, I have literary forgotten to draw eyebrows on it. OMG *shakes head unbelievingly*. How could I have possibly left it out? Now, the more I look at the previous drawing, the more I felt how silly it look. Lol.

Later on, I have noted another feature on my face wasn't depicted on the drawing. You see, I have double eyelids - something many people would proud to have. Hence, I then boldly and deftly added it on the drawing.

It seems to look much better now. Right?

Since I do not know how to color it using graphic software, I had to revert to the traditional way - using color pencils.

Oh yea, some of you had asked the meaning of the Japanese characters contained in that speech bubble. Actually in romaji it reads as, "Hajimemashite, Dozo Yoroshiku". Meaning, "Pleased to meet you" and "Please favor me". Something like that :D

Manga Kleio - Tis is how I look like

Attempted another piece of doodling yesterday night while watching the telly with my hubby. This time, ala MANGA style.

Since I am posting it here, I am hopping that my hubby can't remember or recognize this drawing of mine should he came to accidentally stumbled upon it on the net *sweat*. Yea, I am showing it to you at the risk of blowing my alter ego cover. Ok, ok, I am being paranoia again. Tee hee hee.




This manga gal kinda represented myself. My hair looks more or less like that in the drawing. With big eyes and a generous mouth. Except one thing, one thing that is my own imagination or I should say, wishful thinking... the F-cup boob. How I wish! Hahahaha

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UPDATE:
19th Nov 2007 : Found a major mistake on this drawing. Here's my revision.