Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Farewell My Beloved

My beloved grandma passed away last Saturday evening. She died in my very arms. I was alone with her together with my son. We saw her slipping away right in front of our very eyes and was helpless to do much to help her. The question on whether I could have done anything more or differently that could have saved her kept haunting me. I kept seeing her whenever my mind is free.

Others kept telling me and my family that is was a good way to go as she does not need to go thru long period of pain or sufferings. For she had left us while having her dinner (she ate halfway) together with my son by her side. Perhaps it was.... but we are still trying to wrap our mind around the notion that we did not get to say farewell to her or to hear her last words.

Deep down inside, I know I should count my blessing for I am the last person to have held her, sooth her and spoken to her during her last moment. Nevertheless, the experience was one that's going to follow me till the end of my days. It was traumatic for me and my son yet, it was one that one memory only I alone could have to cherish.

We missed her dearly as she was the magnet of our family. She pulls us all together as an inseparable family unit. Without her we are lost.

Though I wished to say more, my heart does not have the strength yet for me to carry on.

I would like to observe a moment of silence in the loving memory of this beautiful woman, my dearest grandma.

This is the memorial message we are engraving onto her resting sanctuary,
for it was one that truly reflect our love for her:

Gone yet not forgotten,
although we are apart,
your spirit lives within us,
forever in our hearts.


Tine said...

My deepest condolences to you and your family at this time.

God bless :)

Che-Cheh said...

My condolence to you and your family.

Anonymous said...

My condolences, dear. May you and your family have strength and support during this grieving period. A life as bright and embracing as your beloved grandma's will be celebrated in the memories of her loved ones.


Kok said...

I am sorry to hear that. My deepest condolence to you and your family. I know how hard it is to have a family member leaves us. Just like me who lost my grandpa last year. I couldn't even go back and send him for the very last time due to my final exam. Until now, I still miss him a lot. I couldn't forget bout him...

Anyway, I hope you'll be strong to overcome this. *hugs*

Anonymous said...

My deepest condolences. It must have been so traumatic for you and your son. I pray that you will have peace in your heart and mind.


gina said...

May she rests in peace.

stev said...

thoughts & condolences at this time

*hugs* take your time to grieve there


Kleio the Muse said...

Tine, Che-cheh, Kenny Mah, Kok, Clockwise, Gina & Stev:

Thank you for your kind thoughts and concern. I am still struggling to get use to living each day without her cheery presence. Missing her voice, her face and every little thing about her.

I find my eyes and mind drift to her favorite corners at every given opportunity and fondly albeit sadly reminiscing days spent with her. Trying to remember her voice her face and every gestures. Afraid of losing these precious memories to the flow of time.

I know time heals... but... I am not sure if I ever wanted it to.

Thank you all for your understanding of me being absent and silent for such long time. I am not sure when I would feel ok to come back to blogsphere again.

Tho I now no longer cry at each mentioned of her but... my heart still feels heavy. For she is the most precious person in my life. I am who I am thanks to her.

Edward Skading said...


This is my first time reading your blog and i am sorry that you had lost a love one. I know its hard to accept it now and its really sad to say farewell to someone you care, moreover in your arms. One thing i am sure, yr grandma felt comfort knowing that you were there holding her before she took her final breath. I am sure she is happy in heaven. So please accept my sincere condolences. Now, i feel like crying...cause i miss my love one too.

Kleio the Muse said...

Edward Skading:

Sorry for the late reply.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I am sorry for your loss too. *hugs*