Old Flame Memory Lane

I know I have been neglecting my blog for quite sometime now *ducks flying objects*. Sorry for that. Was kinda still feeling drained after my Exhibition Guide stint. So now, today, I am back again. Tho I wasn’t feeling very well of late. Been down with flu and fever. Still recovering from it as we speak. Am now breathing through my mouth due to my stuffy nose hence suffering from dry throat and mouth symptom.

I was on medical leave yesterday and had an uncomfortable surprise meeting with someone I have long forgotten when I drop by at the clinic that I frequented. It was my hubby who drove me there accompanied by our little boy too.

When I first caught a glimpse of him I thought I was hallucinating from the fever. Gosh, is it really him? I had to ask myself a several times. I dare not meet his eyes but walked pass him nonchalantly and plopped by butt in a seat next to whom-I-believed-was-his-wife sitting on his left holding a toddler girl around 3-4 years old.

It has been such a long time since we last contacted each other. If I am not mistaken, it was like over 10 years or more. That was ever since I was in a steady relationship with my hubby.
Why am I fretting about seeing him there? Well, thing is, it’s quite an awkward situation as he was my first love. He was the first boy that had held my hands. Now, I could not exactly recall if I had also given my first kiss to him. As things are quite a blur now given my goldfish-memory.


Seeing him again brought back floods of memories…


Our Hot & Cold Love
We started our puppy love during our secondary school days (high school). I have to admit; I was kind of just following the trend back then, as everyone seems to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend to show. Since, I was never lack of suitors, I thought it would be cool to have one too. Plus, he is a hot item, very popular (especially among the gals and the guys like him too) and handsome too. I kinda fell for his boyish cuteness. Yea, I was THAT shallow back then. LOL. But hey, give me a break coz I was still in my early teen years at that period of time okay.

What we have was an on-off kind of relationship. Let’s just say, there’s just too many distractions, for him that is. He attracts whole lots of female attention and I gain lots of hate-filled-glares from these gals. Not that I really care, as I was usually too preoccupied with my school grades. I know where my priority is even back then. Had even blatantly told him so, that he comes second after my grades. I remembered asking him not to pester me with his phone calls especially nearing examination period.

He is very much different from me in terms of placing his priority, family backgrounds and academic studiousness. To begin with, he doesn’t even understand English or shares the same interest in books like I do. He was a truant at school, joined the gangster and later on, dropped out from school during his second year.

I think I don’t even need to elaborate any further for you would have predicted that our relationship didn’t last long. To cut things short, we only lasted about half a year then broke off… and then got back on again, a couple of times – on his persuasion. Beats me. I really do not know what I had in me that had attracted him so much for him to try to patch up with me so many times even after I have graduated from high school and college.


The Public Show of Embarrassment
I could still remember that one appalling event where he gotten very drunk and was screaming my name on top of his lung over and over again, at the front gate of my house in the middle of the night! To my dismay, my neighbors were all woken up by his ruckus and I could clearly see the steam coming out from my mom’s head. To make the matter worst, he kept falling down together with his motorbike a couple of times and had to struggle back up with our help. What an embarrassment.

I was hoping the earth would just open up and swallow me whole there and then. He did it just because I dumped him. In the end, we had no choice but to call his parent to pick him up, as we could not persuade him to go away on his own accord and my mom did not have the heart to call the police on him. I thank my mom in my heart for that even when I feel like kicking his ass for this mess he got me into.

Oh yes, I got an earful from my mom after that. I hated him for it. Yet, somehow I did felt a little bit guilty and touched at the same time. Except not enough for me to disregard my mom’s decree for me to stay away from him. Haha. Stay away I did… but not too long, as we got back together again after sometime, in secret.

Gosh, maybe I do have a weak spot for cuties. Especially cuties like him – boyish and charming. I’ll melt just by looking at him smiling. Love his voice too. Ah, come to think of it, I still do have an affinity to boyish charms. Let me see… the Jpop songs I currently adore are mostly sung by males with boyish voice. LOL.

Gawd, am I getting perverted from old age? Someone, please save me!


In a Tight Spot over the Accidental Meeting
Now that I see him sitting there with his wife and kid. I can’t help but to wonder if he’s happy now with this family life. I think that he must be wondering the same thing too when he saw me with my hubby and kid.

I wasn’t brave enough to risk a sensitive row with my hubby therefore I did not try to catch his eyes at all. I knew that he did glanced at me a couple of times, but I doubt he would initiate a greeting also – he is after all in the same inconvenient situation like me. I would have greeted him if we were both alone. Just a friendly hello, that’s all.

I know you might think that I am some sort of a vain-pot to fret that I am not looking at my best due to my sickness (flu and fever) and dressed only in a pair of worn-out short pant with a tiny pink tee. I am a far cry from how I used to look like during my school days, no doubt. Chancing a meeting with an old flame in this sort of condition wasn’t very appealing or flattering at all. Don’t you agree?


A General Question to All:
What would you do or how would you react if you were in my shoe – chancing an accidental meet with your old flame?