Friday, March 16, 2007

If You Think It Hurts… then It Does

Yesterday was a lousy day for me. Had some financial and family probs. A good friend cum colleague of mine told me I had been daydreaming during work. Yes I am. And thanks to her for shaking me up a bit… that’s what friends are for. Sometimes we do need someone we trust to give us a tight slap to stay focus. However, do remember to lend a sympathetic ear after that friendly jolt ok.

I got just that from my buddy, and it wasn’t even a tight slap, just a gentle and concerned but truthful dialogue… followed by her understanding ear – just what I needed. I am blessed to have a friend like her… honored in fact that she chose to be my friend. I thank her for lending me a sympathetic ear and for being patient, impartial and unjudgemental when I most needed someone to talk to, clearing my emotionally clogged in-built drain.

Actually, it wasn’t at all my normal traits to spill my guts out to other people. I hated doing it… hated unloading emotional baggage on others especially someone I cared… hated being a burden to others… hated being a bringer of negative vibes. It just feels so whinny and I hated that too. Whining is for weak people and it’s an emotional suicidal feature. It pulls one deeper into the hell hole. The more you whine the deeper shit you are in.

That’s why I seldom blog about depressing stuffs… or at least I avoided doing so. Live our life like an undying candle, lighting the way of others as we go by… isn’t it more meaningful to bring hope and renewed faith to others. In turn, we gather more inspirations and strength along the way. This is and always have been my principles in life, one I tried to hold on tight to… as it gives me reason to push myself on. Therefore, I told myself this, “Hey, it’s all okay… these are just some minor setbacks, not that it is not improvable or impossible to resolve… like losing an arm or a leg. It’s just a matter of time for things to straighten out. And straighten out it will should we ourselves still have hope and work upon it”. There, the world is much a nicer place now isn’t it?

Our voice resonates with life. Because this is so, it can touch the lives of others. The caring and compassion imbued in your voice finds passage to the listener's soul, striking his or her heart and causing it to sing out; the human voice summons something profound from deep within, and can even compel a person into action. – Daisaku Ikeda

If you always have a shallow perspective and pay attention only to trivial things, you are sure to get bogged down in all kinds of petty worries and concerns, and not be able to move forward. Even relatively minor hurdles or problems will seem insurmountable. But if you look at life from a broad viewpoint, you naturally spot the way to solve any problem you may confront. This is true when we consider our own personal problems as well as those of society and even the future of the entire world. – Daisaku Ikeda

It is senseless to blame others or your environment for your miseries. Change begins from the moment you muster the courage to act. When you change, the environment will change. The power to change the world is found nowhere but within our own life. – Daisaku Ikeda

One of my favorite poets, the Argentine educator Almafuerte (1854-1917) wrote: "To the weak, difficulty is a closed door. To the strong, however, it is a door waiting to be opened." Difficulties impede the progress of those who are weak. For the strong, however, they are an opportunity to open wide the doors to a bright future. Everything is determined by our attitude, by our resolve. Our heart is what matters most. –
Daisaku Ikeda

My buddy says she salutes me for being so emotionally strong and independent… while I could only hope I am not lying to myself in self consolation.

On a different and happier note today…..

I held the lift (elevator) and waited for a fellow colleague who had not long ago did somewhat the very much opposite of what I just done for her.

What happened was that a couple months ago… she hurriedly closes the office lift door when she saw me coming and I was kinda left feeling indignant and silly staring at the closed lift door. Luckily there wasn’t anybody nearby at that time. Later on, I had dismissed her action as accidental and unintentional, although we were like face to face each other and her eyes let me know that she saw me when the lift door closes.

I actually felt nice for what I have done today. Proud of myself for not stooping as low as her and took today’s chance to return the unsavory favor. I have even wrung a ‘Thank You’ from her for holding the lift. Everybody deserves a second chance right?

The heart of one person moves another's. ... If one's own heart is closed, then the doors of other people's hearts will also shut tight. On the other hand, someone who makes all those around him or her into allies, bathing them in the sunlight of spring, will be treasured by all. – Daisaku Ikeda

Genuine sincerity opens people's hearts, while manipulation causes them to close.Daisaku Ikeda

Post Title:
At first, I thought of putting the title of this post as, "Of Crisis, Friendship and Self-Evaluation"... dunno why but I think it's a bit boring so I ditched the idea.


My hubby sent me another one of his love note via SMS yesterday. Yeah, he’s quite fond of doing this but not on regular basis of course. This time it’s a poetry, well… sort of. It’s his first attempt on poetry writing he told me.

Here’s what he wrote (don’t mind the English ok. He’s not English educated but I love it for his thoughts):

“Storm cloud darken the sky, your smile light up my mood.
When rain falls outside the window, your beautiful face lift up my heart.
When lightning and thunder shows its might, your encouragements warm up my soul.
With you around me I am invincible, my biggest blessing is have you with me.
To my dearest wife, I will forever love you with all my heart and soul”.


Kok said...

Eventhough people did something bad to you, try not to keep that in mind. Instead, do something good to them. In that way, they will know their mistake and will certainly treat you in a better way. :)

Hope you are alright now. If you need to find someone to talk to, maybe you can find me? Although I'm so much younger than you. :P

FireHorse said...

Awww my lil hermit crab is feeling down, come let me give you a temporary hug, I actually have loads more to say but short of time so will come back ok. By the way, I tagged you since I think you will enjoy doing this tag.

FireHorse said...

Came back as promised to read the post, kleio it's okay to blog about sad and depressing things if you need to get something off your chest and it will make you feel better. We are humans and we have our ups and downs, remember this my dear, you have a "friend" in me, through thick and thin, when you are down I come give you hug, when you are sick, I come give you panadol, oops cannot I kopi soh oni, cannot bring meds, I bring leng teh (cool tea) for you and some porriage, when you happy I cheer loudly. OK?

vhanded said...

Yes, Kok, I agree with you. People treated you like shit, you don't treat them like shit too, that will only make both of you shit... OK, I am quite same like you, I don't like to blog about depression and sad post, it let me look weak. Instead blog it out, I prefer talk to some good good friend that can keep the secret for me. I don't want the people who make me depress feel guilty or think I am weak if they saw my blog. All stuff and news in my blog must be in Summer and Spring mood... So, if you saw my blog in Sunny mood, maybe the source code is in black font... No matter what, the background is always white, yes! Luckily I am someone who easily forgot the sad things...

Kleio the Muse said...

Kok: Thanks Kok. Really appreciates your concern and thanks for the offer to be my Aunt-Agony. Hahaha. And don't push your luck ok... I am not that old. Humph!

Firehorse: *Hugs back* Thanks. And also thanks for the tag. Will try my best :P

Happy to have such a nice fren as you. Now, where's my Leng Teh you promised *looking at Kopi Soh questioningly* LOL. Gracias for cheering my up :D

Vhanded: LOL. Your "Shit Theory" very funny. Thanks for cheering me up.

Actually I wasn't really concerned about others seeing me as a weak being or something like tat. I just dislike being a kill-joy to those around me... that's all. Plus, I believe it's better to bring inspiration to others rather than depression and hopelessness.

Ha, looks like we have something in common... a forgetful mind. LOL.

P/S: Love your Sunny and Bright blog. Keep up the good work ;)