Monday, December 04, 2006

Shitty Saturday

Finally gotten that very much needed haircut on Saturday afternoon. Kudos to Gina, my dear gal pal for bringing me to one good hairstylist and it was freaking cheap as well. I went for a wash, cut and colour for a mere RM120 only. Can you believe that?

Our drastic change of hairstyles came out alright but, we were more or less emotionally scarred by an unexpected turn of events.

Here’s the summarized story on what really happened:

We went into the hair salon sharp at 4pm – just right on the dot for our appointment. The place was crowded but, with only 2 hairstylists to carter to all of us, as one of the hairstylists wasn’t around that day. So, it was a mad dash for em’ busily working on one head after another.

To cut the story short, we ended up spending around 6 hours in the salon. Nearly died of hunger, but thanks to dear ol’ sweet Gina - for buying those snacks for me. Really appreciates it *wink*.

I was quite anxious as the clock ticks away – starts counting the hour around 7pm as we are not quite near finishing (not sure if I got the time right, it was just an estimation). My hair is still full of dye, waiting for the colour to fuse. And I think they have only just started applying dye on Gina’s hair. Mati lah….

The thing is, I promised my hubby to be back early as soon as I finished at the hair salon as he has some important business to attend to that night, and he needed me to shoo our little boy away from him while he worked on finishing his tasks for the next day’s presentation.

Well, I felt bad for failing him on this but; it really wasn’t like we wanted this to happen on purpose. It was well out of our control really. I did tried explaining it to me civilly. Unfortunately as usual, he didn’t think like it this way. He was ranting and steaming away in the car while driving us back home from the hair salon (yes, he was so damn pissed waiting and decided to come and fetch drag me home – and it was very humiliating for both me and me poor gal pal. He reached the place about 10pm with my son in towed).

It was unfortunate that my poor lil’ son of 5 years old had to witness this entire ugly scene. I hated him for putting our son up on this. I don’t mind him getting some steam off his chest. I don’t mind him shouting at me or saying hurtful things. But, I do mind that he did it all in front of our son – he is innocent after all – why want to traumatize him with all this petty arguments. Why can’t he just bloody stop and think of the effect this might have on our boy.
When we reached home, my boy cried and kept looking at me helplessly – my heart breaks to see him like that. It was like he was trying to protect me but couldn’t help it but feel helpless. You know what… my boy told me that night when I tuck him to sleep? He said, he cried because daddy scold mummy. I wanted to cry right there and then but, I did not. Not in front of him. I must be strong for him.

This tirade of tantrums didn’t stop well into the night. What makes the matter worst is that, my son kept on creeping downstairs to stand at the lower staircase peeping at us, looking all the more helpless at the sight he was witnessing and trying hard to stop but unable to.

We have called truce yesterday. After my numerous apologies and after his numerous hurtful remarks about me not being a good wife and stuff like that. He apologize yesterday admitting that he had over-reacted. As usual, I accepted his apologize without a fuss. Albeit deep down inside I know there will be another deep scar for me to bear on my already mutilate heart.

Sometimes, I wonder if he ever understands that, “Things once broken will never ever mend like it was before. There will always be a scar however well you tried to mend it”.

Meanwhile, I have already promised myself to stay strong and positive and make the best out of what I have. I am a survival afterall. So don't worry ya.

Post script:

Gina, I know I have already apologize to you countless time but, I had to say it again – Sorry for leaving early and leaving you alone at the hair salon and also for traumatizing you over this petty incident.

Dear all, this post was kinda typed in a haste therefore, it might contained some errors on it be it typos or phrasing. So pardon me ok :P


Che-Cheh said...

Kleio, I have no way of giving you any marital advice (no experience :P) but I will stand by your side no matter what. Cheers friend. Stand strong.

Lots of hugs!

Gina said...

I believe showing respect to others, by first respecting yourself. He indeed over-reacted, as usual, and it just beats the wind out of me on how you managed to handle this for so many years , so many times. I hope things would be better now. I am sorry also for helplessly causing this.

Kleio the Muse said...

Che-Cheh ~~ Sniff. Thanks. That's just what I needed - support.

I'll be strong, definitely so - especially for my boy. :)

But my hubby wasn't so bad actually, it's just a personality clash.

He has been very caring towards me and my family as well. It's just that he has got problem with controlling his emotion and there's this strong insecurity in him - which made him all the more possesive.

*Hugs received with thanks and gratitude*

Gina ~~ Please do not feel bad or even feel you have any indirect cause to this. I am telling you, you do not and am not the cause. You just so happened to be there. It's like "At the wrong place, at the wrong time" that's all.

I agree with your p.o.v. but, sometimes I believed all things happens for a reason or due to a cause - So we must first look deep into ourselves before we start cursing others. After pondering on all this for a while, I came to realise that his behaviour might somewhat be cultivated by me, by the way I deal with his emotion and our relationship all this while (not going to eleborate on this. sorry). I dare say, my reaction to his constant outburst of emo is also another good example of this theory - which explains why, sometimes the same scenario might achieve a different outcome when the players are different.

stev said...

hmm. i personally adapt to the adage that it is quite difficult for a leopard to change its spots. (difficult but somehow yet not impossible)

would still think that communication is an important part of things. to talk when things are rational in a non-threatening way to resolve & proactively prevent any conflicts or circumstances which are not acceptable to you.

i have personally come to the realization only not too long ago that money & work are not the most important things in life.

note: only the comments of a blogg(d)er based on what you have written so far - nothing more or less

Kleio the Muse said...

stev~~ Thanks for your insights. Appreciate it very much :)

A two-way communication is what is lacking in my case. Will work on it :)