Heading for the Torture Chamber

Tomorrow I am finally going for that long overdue Dentist appointment. Yeah, it has been postponed for like 5 months now *Grinning sheepishly* What to do, I have got no nerves when it comes to dentist visits.

I think that hole (the one I mentioned in earlier on my blog about the filling dropping out while I was brushing my teeth) is getting worst. Ouch! I now noticed several more cavities as the days months goes by… yeah, serves me right you say – for being such a chicken. Cluck cluck cluck!

That large cavity has been such a nuisance – food getting into it (yucky, I know but I always gargle after food. Humph!), trying to avoid chewing on my left side (where the cavity is), wincing each time anything cold or hot or sweet passed through my mouth. Really do not know how I managed to live with all this for such a long time. I am such a laugh right? I can live with the pain and trouble of not having it patched but, can’t survive a simple visit to the dentist. LOL. I am such a wimp! Luckily I am female, which makes it my right actually to be so wimpy and yet not be too embarrassed by it. Hahahaha…

The thought of that syringe and drill (the murder tools) already gives me the goose-bumps. I am crossing my fingers that I might come out from the torture chamber in one piece – in body and mind. Wish me luck people!

Mental state: Very anxious and borderline neurotic. My mind kept singing the song “I am going to the gallows, I am going to the gallows. Oh save me, oh save me from the gallows…”.

Have yourself a Merry Lil' Christmas

Saw this cute little Snowman Snowglobe last 2 weeks back at a local shopping mall.

I have always wanted a snowglobe of my own since young, but never gotten one before. I just don't see the point of purchasing one for myself - it would be meaningless. I feel that it needs to come from someone dear, like family, a lover or even a dear friend to complete the special-ness of owning a snowglobe.

My fascination was once again perked when I saw this cute snowglobe and I couldn't help myself and hence made the purchase immediately. But this one's for my son - I thought of him as soon as I saw it. At least now he has his first snowglobe – one with special meaning and filled with a mother’s love for her child.

As to why I didn’t buy one for myself? Yes, I still feels strongly that snowglobes should be a gift from somebody else and not collected on our own - Weird sentiments? I know.

I am still waiting for my very own Snow Globe :D


I figured since I love snowglobe so much, I should at least learn more about it. So, I did some light research on it just know. Here’s what I found:-

( This Santa Clause Snowglobe is amazing eh? It looks so magical.
Found this amazing pix just now. Will be setting it as my wallpaper for this Yuletide season ;D )

The first snowglobes are said to have come from France in the eary 1800's. Many believe following in the footsteps of the paperweight. The earliest known snowglobes were made of glass and were part of Victorian upper class lifestyles in the 1870's. Made popular by those who had a love of such eclectic decor. As early as 1879 five manufacturers were shipping them all over Europe.

In the 1940's, snowglobes were used for advertising by many companies. They also became popular religious gifts for children. The snow inside sometimes gold glitter or even soap chips. Now days, the glass is thinner, and oftentimes, plastic is used for the globe, while the "snow" is actually small pieces of plastic. The water inside is a mix of water and glycerin. They abound in all shapes and sizes, especially during the holiday season. Plastic domes made their mark in the 1950's.

Today's snowglobe ranges from very ornate, musical, or mechanical and lighted, to simple plastic domes. Some even are battery powered so one doesn't have to shake it to see the snow whirl around inside the globe. Then there are the many found on webpages abounding the internet. It really doesn't matter where it came from, be it a tourist stop, the finest store, a graphics program, or a garage sale find.....snowglobes have a magic all their own, wonderously transforming the everyday into a miniscule world of swirling flakes falling, as the wonder of snowfall and winter's hush surround us.

Extracted from Intimate Expression Gifts
For further read-ups on Snowglobes

Found a simple poem on Christmas to share with all too…

I love winter! Winter is cold.
It's Christmas with sleds.
It's warm snuggly beds.
It's silver snowflakes.
It's skating on lakes.
It's snowmen that stand In a snowy white land.
It's bluejays that feed On sunflower seed.
It's angels that pose In wintertime clothes.
It's a polka-dot sky.
It's winter. That's why....... I love winter.

Merry Christmas everyone, and don’t forget the spirit of sharing – spread the joy and happiness far and wide ya! Remember we don’t need special days to do so ok.


P/S: Actually I wanted to embed a media player here to play the song, "Frosty the Snowman" on this post - it was one of my favorite Christmas song. Unfortunately, my limited knowledge on html proven to be a major set-back :( Anyhow, I shall still continue my further exploration on it *wink* I shall hold dear to the notion that no one's too old to learn.

A Tango 'Asunto Del Amor'

This is my RM40 ticket :D - worth every pennies

Wooo hoo…. This show was absolutely mind-blowing (see my previous blog on it). Whew! It was hot, hot, hot I tell you. It was and affair to remember for a lifetime. Hence, I gave this post a Spanish title, A Tango Asunto Del Amor (Asunto Del Amour means Love Affair in Spanish)

Despite having to literally wrestle our way through the horrendous traffic jam all thanks to the heavy downpour. And poor me having to tahan (bear) with my mom’s constant complains on other rude and inconsiderate ways of other fellow drivers as though it could have make things any better by gesticulating wildly while admonishing these fools harshly - in the end, it’s only me who had to suffer for other people's stupidity. Sigh…. I was like thinking loudly to myself, “Duh… could we just focus on where we are going please, we’ve made a few wrong turnings already” – I want to pengsan liao (faint).

Irregardless, me and my mom made it just on time… ok ok… we were just a wee bit late – we arrived at 8.10pm and the show is supposed to start at 8.00pm sharp and the audiences are expected to be seated by 7.45pm. Fat-chance with that downpour – and I was right! The show didn’t start till about 8.45pm, having to wait for the auditorium to fill up with wet and disgruntled audiences (Ahahahaa… that’s just my gist anyway).

As this show was also jointly organized by The Embassy of Uruguay, there were quite a number of foreigners amongst us – almost half of the auditorium. This show was a total sell-out it seems – the whole auditorium was fully packed.


The Performance

Ms. Laura Legazcue was a joy and pleasure to watch. The crowd was absolutely enthralled by her mastery in tango. She was a natural, a true born dancer. She had successfully put a charm on all of us and etched the beauty of Tango in our hearts forever.

I love all her six (6) tango dances including the soul stirring tango music – I found my heart dancing to the tunes of these mind evoking music.

Ms. Laura dances with so much passion, vigor and skill. We were simply in awe of her and her partner’s skill in synchronizing their moves to the music with perfect precision and unison. They both were like two souls entwined in one body.

I bet Ms. Laura is ‘Plastic-Woman’ in disguise cos’ she has got such a supple body especially her legs were so flexible that’s it was quite scary. It was like she has no bones in her legs. Yikes! – LOL. Sorry, I can’t help myself from injecting some humour in all this. Ahahaaaa…



Below is the programme of that night:-

PROGRAMME

Pata Ancha. (Facing with courage) – Tango by Mario De Marco (the music)
La Puñalada. (The stab wound) – Tango by Pintin Castellanos (the music)
San Telmo. – Tango by Gerardo Matos Rodríguez (the music)
Melacólico (Melancholic) – Tango by Julián Plaza (the music)
La Comparsita. – Tango by Gerardo Matos Rodríquez (the music)
Mala Junta. (Bad company) – Tango by Julio De Caro (the music)

There are also performances by SGM Galaxy Chamber Orchestra and SGM Renaissance Choir in between the Tango performances. They were all quite good actually.



The Conclusion

I ended up with two very red and sore hands from clapping too enthusiastically – non-stop. LOL.

I was so pleased when the dancers obliged to the crowd’s mad calls for encores – the commotion was like we were in a singing concert. Aiyoh, very malu-lah (embarrassing). Please be informed that I was in no way involved in that noisy encore calls ok. But, I was grateful however *grin*.

Overall, it was a memorable experience. As I said earlier, it was my one-evening-love-affair with Tango.

Tango for Two

Horray! going for this dance performance today with my mummy dearest. Tickets sponsored by my hubby :D (yeah, we are sorta back on the right track again - kissed and make up). The show starts tonight at 8pm and here's the location map.


The lead performer, Laura Legazcue (watch the videos on her site - it's awesome. Hahaha, it's what I am going to be enjoying tonight. Yay!) is currently a choreographer, first ballerina and director of the tango ballet of the Philharmonic Orchestra of Uruguay. She has started refining her superb dancing skill at the tender age of 7 years old at the National Ballet of Uruguay with Maestro Eduardo Ramirez. She has also won numerous coveted awards throughout her dancing career - meaning she would be a pleasure to watch *grin*.

I really love watching people dancing but, unfortunately I can't dance - can't even dance in discos. Yup, that's me - I have got two left feet *blush*. One of my favorite reality TV show is on today and it's the finale also :( - Sob, sob I guess I'll have to sacrifice watching "So You Think You Can Dance" to watch some real live hot, hot, hot dancing *wink*.

The Green-Eyed-Monster in me

This is what doting Mummy & Daddy bought for Cheeky-Boy to bribe ahem, welcome him back home from his two-week long stay at his Grandma's (my hubby's mom) place in Subang starting from the beginning of the school holidays.

As usual, we had to brace ourselves for his strong rejection and objection of being brought back home with us. I really hated having to go thru this every single time he visits them. We had to literally drag him out of the house, well it’s more like, go in, grab him, and run for the car with him kicking, crying and clawing at us *roll eyes* Sigh…

The thing is, he really enjoys this visits at Grandma's - has developed such strong attachment with his two cousins and also his grandma and aunties. Well, I don't blame him for that as he rarely gets to see them but, I had to admit on being a tad bit jealous at times. Sorry, I just can't help being a little bit possessive over him. Afterall, he is a part of me - bone, blood and down to DNA too – he’s mine, mine, mine!

When we got there to pick him up that day, I told my hubby to leave the toys in the car first. It was a ploy to test his love and loyalty towards us plus, we really wanted to know if he did missed us at all after such long separations - we missed him dearly - especially my hubby - he had to fight off the urge to bring him home earlier than anticipated.

This time around we have gotten a very pleasant surprise from him. He actually ran out from his grandma’s house to greet us enthusiastically and shower us with hugs and kisses – plus, he kept calling us over and over again, “Mummy, Daddy, Mummy, Daddy….” like a broken record. I really don't have the words to describe how I felt that moment - I was like on cloud-nine! - all bursting with pride and happiness.

Sigh, I guess we did underestimate our son’s affection towards us. Never again will I question his love for us from now on. For now I know and believed there’s nothing stronger than the bond between a child and the parent.

Shitty Saturday

Finally gotten that very much needed haircut on Saturday afternoon. Kudos to Gina, my dear gal pal for bringing me to one good hairstylist and it was freaking cheap as well. I went for a wash, cut and colour for a mere RM120 only. Can you believe that?

Our drastic change of hairstyles came out alright but, we were more or less emotionally scarred by an unexpected turn of events.


Here’s the summarized story on what really happened:

We went into the hair salon sharp at 4pm – just right on the dot for our appointment. The place was crowded but, with only 2 hairstylists to carter to all of us, as one of the hairstylists wasn’t around that day. So, it was a mad dash for em’ busily working on one head after another.

To cut the story short, we ended up spending around 6 hours in the salon. Nearly died of hunger, but thanks to dear ol’ sweet Gina - for buying those snacks for me. Really appreciates it *wink*.

I was quite anxious as the clock ticks away – starts counting the hour around 7pm as we are not quite near finishing (not sure if I got the time right, it was just an estimation). My hair is still full of dye, waiting for the colour to fuse. And I think they have only just started applying dye on Gina’s hair. Mati lah….

The thing is, I promised my hubby to be back early as soon as I finished at the hair salon as he has some important business to attend to that night, and he needed me to shoo our little boy away from him while he worked on finishing his tasks for the next day’s presentation.

Well, I felt bad for failing him on this but; it really wasn’t like we wanted this to happen on purpose. It was well out of our control really. I did tried explaining it to me civilly. Unfortunately as usual, he didn’t think like it this way. He was ranting and steaming away in the car while driving us back home from the hair salon (yes, he was so damn pissed waiting and decided to come and fetch drag me home – and it was very humiliating for both me and me poor gal pal. He reached the place about 10pm with my son in towed).

It was unfortunate that my poor lil’ son of 5 years old had to witness this entire ugly scene. I hated him for putting our son up on this. I don’t mind him getting some steam off his chest. I don’t mind him shouting at me or saying hurtful things. But, I do mind that he did it all in front of our son – he is innocent after all – why want to traumatize him with all this petty arguments. Why can’t he just bloody stop and think of the effect this might have on our boy.
When we reached home, my boy cried and kept looking at me helplessly – my heart breaks to see him like that. It was like he was trying to protect me but couldn’t help it but feel helpless. You know what… my boy told me that night when I tuck him to sleep? He said, he cried because daddy scold mummy. I wanted to cry right there and then but, I did not. Not in front of him. I must be strong for him.

This tirade of tantrums didn’t stop well into the night. What makes the matter worst is that, my son kept on creeping downstairs to stand at the lower staircase peeping at us, looking all the more helpless at the sight he was witnessing and trying hard to stop but unable to.

We have called truce yesterday. After my numerous apologies and after his numerous hurtful remarks about me not being a good wife and stuff like that. He apologize yesterday admitting that he had over-reacted. As usual, I accepted his apologize without a fuss. Albeit deep down inside I know there will be another deep scar for me to bear on my already mutilate heart.

Sometimes, I wonder if he ever understands that, “Things once broken will never ever mend like it was before. There will always be a scar however well you tried to mend it”.

Meanwhile, I have already promised myself to stay strong and positive and make the best out of what I have. I am a survival afterall. So don't worry ya.




Post script:

Gina, I know I have already apologize to you countless time but, I had to say it again – Sorry for leaving early and leaving you alone at the hair salon and also for traumatizing you over this petty incident.

Dear all, this post was kinda typed in a haste therefore, it might contained some errors on it be it typos or phrasing. So pardon me ok :P

Hair Woes

Going for a haircut tomorrow with a gal pal.

Finally getting rid of my lifeless hairstyle - it's natural black, very long - reaches my waist in fact, limped and dry looking. Ahem, with splits ends as well. So, it's about time for an updated look.

What do you think of the hairstyle below?

(This picture is just a sample of how the hairstyle looks like. It is not a picture of me ok)

I think it looks fresh and young - just what I needed - as I know I am not getting any younger. Plus, it looks like low maintainance kinda hairstyle :D Yeah, I pretty lazy in styling and caring for my hair. Hehehehe... I guess I just ain't the regular type of gal.

The main reason I am desperate for a new haircut is that, my hair has been shedding like cat's fur for quite sometime now. And I noticed it's kind of thinning in the front portion. I figured a shorter hairstyle would help to lessen the gravitational pull. LOL.

I will miss my long long hair though. Sniff. I do hope this new style wouldn't suck.

Losing Sense of Self

Actually this was written yesterday night after one of my hubby’s usual bout of volcanic eruption. Sigh...

Even so, I still love him. And I know he loves me very much – in fact, sometimes I think he loves me too much, which is why I constantly found myself in this sort of dilemma.

Listening to a piece of beautiful piano music, "Canon in D" while typing this on my mobile phone right now. It's one of my most favorite piece of music. Very inspiring and relaxing.

There are a few things I have always wanted in my life. It was just simple things and yet it seems so unattainable - Impossible, in fact.

I was a free-spirited woman during my singleton days – it was all fun and happening. I get to do what I want, when I want, where I want. Things were much less complicated then until I choose to complicate it (how stupid!) – so, basically it was my own undoing – no blaming on others.

I now find myself being tied down not only physically but emotionally as well. Even the simplest act of expressing self was a luxury of the past.

What’s worst is that I actually thought I could repressed this feeling of losing my own identity by focusing solely on my family especially my beautiful little boy and start believing I might really find happiness and fulfillment in my life even without getting what I yearned for… This has proven to be very, very wrong indeed.

As I realized I have forgotten one simple fact… that I am only human.

P/S:
I have actually written quite a lot detailing on what I really secretly wished for but, I just don’t feel right posting it up here… at this moment.
You know… each and every time I re-read this post I feel an ache deep down my heart…